Enjoying the ride

How did I miss this? They are making more Supernatural comics. "Supernatural: Beginning's End" is supposed to start shipping January. I hope they are good.

I read the last two comic mini-series, one I liked, the other I didn't. I think "Rising Son" had some moments that really did a good job showing the Winchester's crappy childhood. It really fit in with cannon and expanded it. If you haven't read it, I recommend it.

The novels were the same. I liked one and didn't like the other. I still haven't finished the third. Sadly, fanfiction tends to be so much better than the published stories. The published stories just feel watered down. The characters just feel off, like the authors spent one night watching a couple of episodes and figured they understood enough to crank something out. (Most of that is directed at DeCandido now that I think about it)

I thought "Witch's Canyon" by Mariotte was worth reading, but again a lot of fanfiction can be so much better. I wish the published stuff were better.

Man, we haven't even gone one whole week without a new episode ... This is going to be a long wait.

Last week I had a week off from work. We went to My dad's cabin (which he built with his own two hands (Actually  his brother and friends helped)). He loved that place.

My Dad was a unique individual. He wanted his ashes spread on the cliff by the cabin & the rest put into a jar.

The jar was sitting there on his mantle. He taped a picture of himself in uniform inside a nestle jar. YES, I said NESTLE, at one time it probably had chocolate milk in the jar. Inside the jar he left a note with instructions about jar placement in the woods, and how to seal the jar. He wanted the nestle jar sealed with liquid nails. I used waterproof caulk, I hope that is good enough.

To summarize: My dad wants to be put in a nestle jar with his photo taped inside, and sealed with liquid nails.

Then, we are supposed to bury the jar next to mom.

The drive from Virginia  to the Catskills in New York is 8 hours drive time, but we are weak, so we broke it up to 2 days.

When we get there we are supposed to dig under the rock with a cross drawn on it with sharpie marker (he drew it over a year and a half ago and it was still crisp. Sharpie should use that in advertising. "So permanent, you can draw on a rock outside and it will still be crisp years later!"

There buried under the rock is an ammo box duct taped closed. Inside is mom. In her own nestle jar with a photo. Dad's jar fit in perfectly. He definitely had this all planned out.

After I cried a bit, I had to pee. Dad did not build a cabin with a bathroom. He built an outhouse. After killing two spiders in the outhouse, I was able to use the facilities (Always bring TP when going to the woods). When I pulled up my underwear I felt something biting me. I thought a spider got in my shorts. No. Nothing that mundane. I had a porcupine quill sticking in my hip.   Well that was fun.

I am glad I am glad I am home.

I do not have the creative gene to make stuff like that up. It just happens.

Holy Crap! I wish I watched that with the husband! Now I have to make him sit infront of the computer & watch so I can talk about it!

Holy crap! That was an awesome episode. Man, I hate CW Richmond even more NOW than last night.

OK I give up... The universe is out to get me today. After the worst kind of day (It's right behind the 'day my Dad died' level of bad), THE CW GOT STUCK SOMEHOW! It Never moved past some chick flipping her hair in a commercial.
STUPID THING PAUSED HALF WAY THROUGH SUPERNATURAL!!!
I ONLY SAW ONE HALF OF THE SHOW!

I keep trying to watch it on CW website but I can't get anything. The advertisements move and spin, but no episode.

I can't win.

Did you ever read a story and like it a LOT. Then when you get to the last chapter, you avoid reading it. Because if you don't read the end, then it didn't really end. And you still have more to look forward to.

This is weird isn't it? Because I do this a lot. And right now I don't have time to waste, there are like a billion big bangs out there.

I feel like I have to take time off from work to read all the stuff I want to. There aren't enough hours in the day. I guess this is a good thing.

Wow, that felt like it just started then it was over. I actually said "What time is it?!?" It felt like the episode took ten minutes. Jeez, now another week to wait. I think my brain is going to explode.
I definitely have to watch it a few times to process what happened.

I want more episodes now. As in right now, but I don't want it to be the last one for a whole summer. I don't think I can take it. I'm torn.

Yay!!, Tomorrow is finally a new SPN episode! The long wait for new episodes was making me crazy.

This week we are in the process of buying a new car (well it's used, but new to us). Yesterday, The husband said "Can we go pick it up Thursday? You get home early on Thursdays."

I laughed and thought he was joking. He frequently likes to joke about Thursdays because he KNOWS we never miss a new show. But no he was not joking. Now he thinks I am an irrational weirdo.

I finally get a NEW SHOW. He said "record it".  I don't trust the DVR not to stop working this Thursday out of spite. Technology is out to get me.

I am excited about the new car. Don't get me wrong. It's shiny, convertable and sporty. Kinda looks like a mid -life crisis car, but who cares. But, maybe we can pick it up Saturday. Doesn't he understand NEW SHOW THURSDAY. YAY!!

Is it weird to pick TV over real life?

It's not just any TV show though. This is the ONLY SHOW I can't miss. It's not every night, just thursday.

OK, yes I am a weirdo.

My Husband is a t-shirt and blue jeans kinda guy. The kind of guy that gets all squeamish in anything fancy.

He went out and bought a suit for my Dad's funeral.  He didn't buy it to impress anyone. He bought it because he didn't want me to be any sadder than I already am.

He is a great guy.

I was lucky to have had such a great Dad.

I am lucky to have found such a great husband.

On 7 January the Doctor told us my Dad had from  3 months to a year left.

On 25 January he passed.

I still feel like there is so much I want to do with him. I have a big hole in my chest. I want my 3 months. He was out of the hospital for 3 1/2 days before we had to put him right back in.

I miss him.

I'm not ready to be the grownup who plans funerals.

I need more Catholics, but I'm surrounded by Lutherans. I feel like a loser, having to ask the priest to provide Catholics for my Dad's funeral.

I feel so selfish.

With Dad in a hospital which is about an hour away, and I get off work between 6 and 7pm, I am having to record all of the new shows. I really have not had time for a movie. Now, I realize that unless you are caught up on TV, it is really hard to read anybody's journal. It is a spoiler minefield out there.

I really want to squeeze that darn Bloody Valentine movie in there. And I wanna see it in 3-D which is a 45 minute drive (Not located near the hospital Dad is in. It's Located near the hospital he LEFT last week. Airgh). And I want to be home in time for tonight's Supernatural episode.

I want to turn back time and have everything go back to our normal boring lives.

Well, I don't know how boring it really was. When I was getting all of the guns from Dad's house I found a crossbow. I did not know he had a crossbow.

Now, when your normal conversation with your dad sounds like this:

Me: "Hey Dad, How was your week?"

Dad: "OK"

Me: "Do anything new?"

Dad: "Not really. Just same old same old."

Followed by a lotta awkward standing around and small talk.

You would think he coulda mentioned buying a crossbow. Maybe the guns and rifles are no big deal, but the crossbow is kinda unusual, and I would think worth mentioning. It is kinda cool. I want to try it out.

You don't have to read this  if you don't want to, I have just had a rough couple of weeks and needed to get it out.

I have always been a "daddy's girl", maybe that is why I like guns, motorcycles, and joined the army.

My Dad has always marched to the beat of his own drummer. Which is weird, since He spent most of his life in a uniform. He was in the Army (Korea), a Policeman for 20 yrs, then volunteered tor the Highway patrol and Fish and Game department after retiring.

Recently Dad got cancer. But, he made it seem like the curable kind. Little chemo, then if that fails take the bladder out.   He is also as old as dirt. My Dad is a jazillion years old and still rides a motorcycle. He goes hunting, reads at church,  and lives at home by himself.  He seemed as OK with being sick as you actually can be. He said he out lived his own dad by 20 years so he was way ahead, and my mom passed away 8 years ago, and he misses her.

This past two weeks everything fell apart. When they reached the point where they needed to operate, they realized the cancer had spread. He kept telling me "It's OK" . He just wanted to go home. So we sent him home with both regular nurse visits, and our visits. Two days after being home, the nurse calls us "You need to be down here now". My dad CUT OFF the Three tubes he had going into him. He doesn't remember doing it.

We stayed with him the next night after a Long day of doctors and hospitals.

The night with my dad was SCARIER than any night during my Year in IRAQ.

Imagine a HOUSE FULL OF GUNS, and my dad was incoherently wandering the house trying to pull his tubes out all night (he actually pulled them out twice, and I plugged him back in, at least he didn't cut them again). He wanted to find his Baretta in-case someone broke in (I kept thinking he was going to SHOOT US), he asked where the Mexicans were, spoke incoherently for a while, and was up all night long.

After the night in hell, we had him put into a facility where they can evaluate him. They told us he will never be able to live alone again.

The first day, He put all of his clothes back on and waited for us to come pick him up. Every day he is there, dressed and ready to go home. It breaks my heart.

I keep telling him the doctors are evaluating his medicine. He is just confused enough that he can't remember how long he was there. I'm going to keep using this excuse till the end.

Today, we are going to see if we can find all of his guns. They are everywhere. The worst part is I can't find his favorite "Shootin' Iron". The one he kept loaded and on his person. I keep telling my husband that you don't JUST treat every gun as if it is loaded. YOU KNOW THEY ARE LOADED. My dad thinks an unloaded gun is useless.

Tomorrow, we get to see how expensive local facilities are, so we don't have to drive an hour each way, every day. He has a small police retirement so he will never qualify to stay anywhere free, but we can sell his stuff to pay. It just seems so WRONG to sell his stuff while he is alive. Maybe we can pay out of our savings for a while. I just don't want to be broke while the economy goes to hell. They laid off 150 people where my husband works already.

Every day is a whole new landcape, with new people and new locations.

I'm full of regrets, and miss my dad already.

Happy Birthday Kimonkey7!!!

I have no writing, photoshopping or computery talent to give you gifts. I just have big font, so I hope that is enough. And it's green like Dean's eyes.

Also, I wanted to thank you for all of the gifts you have given us over the years, the fiction, the mustashes, the beards, and I think there were hats too. Yes, definitely hats. Sam & Dean in funny mustashes never fails to make me laugh out loud no matter how many times I see the icon.

I realized that I didn't have enough Supernatural Icons. I had three of my cars, one of my dog, and two from comic books, But only TWO Supernatural icons. Shoot, the whole reason I have a journal is to talk about Supernatural stuff.

I saw some really nice Icons recently , and I realized mine are just crap. Except my TWO Supernatural icons (that photo of Jensen's back from the Men's Fitness, hoo boy. That  magazine is the best money I ever spent. I love every photo from that darn thing.)

So, I get ready to weed out some of  my home-made icons, and when I go to my Icons on the "Manage userpics" One of my Supernatural  icons is gone! Shoot I only had TWO, and It took me hours to make the darn thing. It wasn't all that awesome, and I might have replaced it, but what the heck?

Where did it go?

I wouldn't care, if it weren't for the fact I spent hours on the darn thing, I even downloaded a program just  to make it. Just for the one Icon.

From Now on I'm going to ask other people for Icons. Less work, and many people make them  so much better. I spent hours changing colors and stuff and it still kinda looked blurry and weird.   I guess some people have an eye for it. Or, Photoshop, or skills or something.

Happy Birthday!!!
ficwriter1966 !

I hope you enjoyed the new Winchesters on your birthday!

Well, Dean's hair is relatively consistent.  I like it, and it doesn't change all that much..so that's good.

Sam's hair has wild swings. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I think "What the heck? Someone is paid to do that to him?"

I like season 4 hair. It has my approval.

The serious stuff:

This week one of my friends lost his job. People lose jobs, that's part of regular life.
Today another of my friends was laid off.
Also, today my boss started cutting hours. I have vacation next week so he hasn't mentioned reducing my hours yet, if he will be. (It's unpaid vacation since I don't have any benefits even though I am a full time employee. I work for a  small business, that offers no health-care, no paid holidays,no benefits at all. I get all of my benefits through my husband.)

I planned my vacation months ago, and have already spent a jazillion dollars. Hopefully I won't worry through the whole thing.

The stock market thing hasn't bothered  me. Seeing people I know lose their jobs has me kinda worried though.

Today, I go get the mail and I find they have sent me another Hello Kitty Check Card. (Don't mock the card, I got 13 years in the military! I can feel girly with the card if I want to)

Then, I notice it IS NOT MY NAME on the card.
I wonder if my husband will insist on another card?
I hope he keeps it.

This is Awesome. I can't wait till he sees it.

I felt the need to weigh in on the new season of Supernatural.

There are a lot of folks who still think the show is awesome. But, It seems that a lot of folks who are usually full of love for the show are disappointed this season. I understand their reasons.

I definitely fall in the show is awesome camp.

OK. I meant to say 4.1-4.3 spoilers below & I have no idea how to change it.

( here is my list of why (could be spoilerly for eps 3.1-3.3) )

Last week we brought home my new guy Frank. You can see him there in the icon. He is a '53 Chevy 'Rat Rod' and has a NEW '69 Chevelle engine (Well, it IS new compared to the 55 year old car).  I was looking for a hot-rod for a while, and then Frank came up for sale. A friend of a friend actually used to own him and is the one who put in the new motor.  As soon as I saw Frank I was in love. I still love the Mini Cooper, and its cute sounds, and its cute shape. But, a '53 Chevy with a '69 Chevelle engine is a whole different animal. This thing sounds like a monster. It probably gets 2 miles per gallon, but I'm not driving it to work. He is just for fun. 

My husband keeps telling me cars get girl names. I think that's because most hot-rods are owned by guys. I think It looks like a Frank anyways. It looks like the Punisher would drive it. I think I'm going to put a white Punisher skull logo right in the middle of the back window. Also, he is kinda a Frankenstein car. So his name is Frank, for Frank Castle(the Punisher), or Short for Frankenstein. I thought I was clever. I don't care what anyone else thinks.

Yesterday, I called my Dad, who stopped by while we were out. Of course Frank was in the driveway. My Dad thinks stuff like this is dumb, So I didn't tell  him we were getting a Hot-rod, since he would suck the fun out of it.  Well, of course he saw the huge black car sitting in the driveway. While we were talking Dad sais "Did (FAT JACK*) buy that Jalopy?" and I said  "Yup". 

I Completly denied Frank was mine. Geeze I'm a tool. Why do parents make you feel like you did something dumb. 

Tomorrow, if it doesn't rain, I'm taking Frank to work and showing him off to Dad (who usually stops by on wednesdays). 

It is my car! Not Fat Jack's!

*While I was typing this, my Husband yells out "Do you talk about me on there? I wanna be 'Fat Jack' or 'The Crusher'!" 
Sooo, 'Fat Jack' is now his name....Why are men so weird?

P.S. yay it's almost September and Supernatural Starts soon!

I understand dogs are gross. I have made my peace with the fact that Otis likes to rub in stinky stuff.

But, why is my cat worse than my dog? Aren't they supposed to be clean?

This morning my wonderful  Baby  Maggie  jumps up onto the  table on the back porch , rubs her face into a full ashtray  and begins eating  cigar ashes. It was like she was putting on face paint.

Gross! And I let her sleep in the bed with me!